• Aug
    07

    HHP: Top Ten Ways For Oriole Fans to Cope With a Winning Team


    by Larry Hodges (alias LarryTT)

    10) Stare at the standings and repeat to yourself over and over, "I am awake. This is really happening." Then try to stay calm. 

    9) Keep your chin up - there's still plenty of time for the Orioles to sink down to your comfort zone by losing 21 in a row - again. 

    8) When you feel overwhelmed by winning, focus on how poorly certain players have been hitting, and perhaps the Oriole bubble will burst and things will come crashing down. Or just hum to yourself very loudly until the season is over in November. Then you can be pessimistic about next season, with the O's getting the last pick in the draft. 

    7) Pretend to be an Oriole. Feast on pie, sunflower seeds, and bubble gum, and soon you'll get used to being in first place, no matter how stressful that may be. 

    6) No matter how good the Orioles inadvertently might be and how much they are favored to win the World Series, keep the faith. It's always possible they will find weird ways to lose. After all, World Series is just an anagram for Weirder Loss.

    5) If you simply can't find enough to gripe about an Oriole team that inconveniently keeps winning, watch the national sports news and sigh with relief when all they talk about are New York and Boston. 

    4) You could start a letter-writing campaign to fire Buck, who's completely ignoring the Oriole way (circa 1988-2011) in favor of the Oriole way (circa 1966-1983, 1996-1997) with their silly winning ways. He is to blame for all those uneasy wins we are facing.

    3) Remember that even if the Orioles win 100 games, that's just four in binary. 

    2) No matter how many games the Orioles win, remember that every hitter has struck out and committed errors, and every pitcher has walked batters and given up hits. Focus on that. There will always be something to criticize, right down to the last out in the World Series when you can lash out at Adam Jones for pieing the winning pitcher. 

    1) Pray very hard that nobody begins to pull up and quote your old pessimistic postings.


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